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Ten Simple Rules for a Happier Life: The Art of Making Lemonade
By Brad Finkelstein
Psychologist Patricia A. Farrell said that when life gets tough, she finds such clichés as 'you've made
your bed, now lie in it' or 'when the going's tough, the tough get going,' not to be helpful.
So she created some rules based on the belief that we can make things better for ourselves and that we are in
control, if only we'll recognize it.
"There are, indeed, ways to change our lives in very important ways. I learned from one of my wisest graduate
school instructors that even job loss can be something you can turn around in a positive way. He used to call it
'career exploration' and he said that you should try many jobs and many careers in order to find the one that was
right for you. How many people really think that way when they choose their life's work? So, whether you've gotten
your 'rules of life' from your family or your school training, let's begin to change things, for the better, starting
today," Ms. Farrell said.
Her 10 simple rules for making lemonade are:
- Learn to say "no" and stick to it. Always agreeing to someone's request for something isn't going
to make you any happier and it may just put you in that position I call 'The Human Doormat.' You need to learn
that for every question or request there are three answers: yes, no and I'll think about it.
- Look for the silver lining, but don't become a Pollyanna. It may not make itself apparent immediately at first,
but it's there; just let yourself see it when it does appear.
- Sit back and do smell the roses. Everyone needs a little time out just to do some 'creative daydreaming' once
in awhile? Force yourself to stop, sit down and just engage in that game of looking for shapes, faces or whatever
in the clouds in the sky. It's very good use of your time because it allows you to cut the stress cycle and get
a better perspective on things.
- Stop praising yourself for how little sleep you need. Whoever said we should be proud of how little sleep we
get every night? I don't think any sleep researcher would agree that less sleep is better for you.
- View hobbies and vacations as deposits you make to your "life saving" account. There is nothing frivolous
about vacations or hobbies. It's time well spent and everyone should find something they love and that gives them
some period of escape into a hobby that provides enjoyment. Doesn't matter if it's golf, quilting, miniature furniture,
or any craft activity. Just do it.
- Eat like there is a tomorrow. Food is wonderful, but when you use it as a substitute for joy in your life,
what are you really doing? You're digging yourself into a deeper hole of loss of self-esteem and, probably, trying
to fight depression or anxiety. We know certain foods have depression-fighting qualities, but they also have calories
with them, so while you may bring one down, the scale will continually inch upward, to your displeasure.
- Count your daily 'laugh quotient.' Stress builds up and attacks our immune system. It's a well-known mind-body
connection, so to counteract that attack, laughter is one of the best medicines and I suggest you make it your
personal business to find some laughter in each and every day of your life.
- Increase your appreciation of nonsense. Life doesn't need to be deadly serious all the time.
- Accept that a straight line isn't always the best way to get somewhere in life.
- Glory in your age and what you've learned in life. People, like fine wine, grow better with time. Don't downgrade
your age and what you've learned in life.
To learn more about Ms. Farrell's philosophy, visit her website at http://www.drfarrell.net.
Surviving the Recession: Snatch Victory from Defeat
Business consultant Andy Birol said, "In hindsight, your business was just surviving when the economy was
growing and now it is in trouble. With energy and raw material costs rising, drastic measures are needed to ensure
your business survives."
His suggestions include:
- Confirm your basic business strategy: Quickly decide on what is most likely to work and easiest to do.
- Agree on available operating funds: Determine what you have to spend in the business.
- Discuss which accounts and products you can service: Play lifeboat. Save only those accounts you can make money
on now.
- Determine three month objectives, activities, accountabilities for your surviving staff.
- Discuss your decisions with your "keeper" staff.
- Communicate your plan to banks, staff, customers and if necessary, the media.
- Build a timetable and roll out strategy and actually stick to it.
- Drive forward with this sense of urgency and it won't take long for your business to spring back!
Mr. Birol heads up Birol Growth Consulting. His website is http://www.andybirol.com
and his blog is http://www.birolsblog.com.
Expert Says Ageism Rampant in Job Search Market
"You're too darn old. We don't hire fossils." You'll never hear that from a potential employer. But
speaker and consultant Barry Maher warns job applicants, "Never let yourself be 'euphemized' out of a job
you're qualified for. What I call 'ageism by euphemism' is rampant. I've consulted on innumerable hires. Even in
private, those doing the hiring never say, 'We only consider young candidates.' Rather it's simply 'We need employees
to be energetic and vigorous,' or 'up on all the latest trends' or 'able to relate to our customer demographic.'
"Be extremely sensitive to the possibility of ageism. If there's even a chance it might be a problem, always
assume it is. Confront it head on, bringing it up yourself and dealing with it. If you've picked up on euphemisms,
couch your response in terms of those euphemisms."
Mr. Maher cautions applicants to deal with the negative perceptions of age and stress the positives they've
picked up because of experience. Ideally, they should show that age and experiences makes them stronger, even in
those very qualities the employer associates with youth.
He also recommends that older applicants address the ageism issue even in the cover letter to their resume,
though there they should do it more obliquely, stressing their positives: their energy, how they're keep current,
the value of their experience, etc.
"Ageism by euphemism is becoming the racism of the 21st Century," Mr. Maher insists.
Barry Maher is president of Barry Maher & Associates, whose website is located at www.barrymaher.com.
